Thursday, October 28, 2010

Fear, Expectation and Knowledge

The majority of the time Fear is totally self based.  True, it can arise from the domino effect where one thing triggers another or trigger a bunch of things.  And fear might be one of those things triggered.  But how we choose to deal with these effects (external or internal) shows how we handle everyday life and its quality.

I have NOT weighed or measured in almost two weeks.  MY fear is that the number (s) will be smaller than I want.  I can easily see that my clothes are fitting better and my figure pleases me more and more.  But FEAR is a potent emotion.  For too many years I’ve allowed fear about things that I can or can’t handle, change or control rule my life.

Expectation is another hurdle.  Others’ expectations usually drive my own expectations to run off kilter.  I allow others to heap things on me and refuse to rebuff those expectations.  There are wonderful expectations that others expect from me.  My clients expect me to show up and to work and to be good at what I do.  IMO, that’s how it should be.  I show up looking good, smelling good and bring a good attitude.  These expectations are all mutual.  However, my biggest enemy is ME.  I often expect things from myself that are totally unrealistic. 

Knowledge is one of the components of life that I am always chasing.  I like to learn new and exciting things: both external and internal.  My current path is providing me with lots of new knowledge and ways to experience this knowledge.

And, now for an answer to: “why haven’t you weighed and measured?”  I do want to post “gains” in my “losses.”  And yes I do deserve it!  I do know that some days are better than others.  So I haven’t weighed giving myself a little time to acclimate to where I am TODAY and to be happy with it.  I don’t want to be a complete slave to the numbers, but I don’t want to turn by back on them either.

So my deal is to weigh and measure on Sunday morning and report the findings.  And I KNOW and EXPECT without any FEAR that the numbers are what they are and the experience is the knowledge that I’m chasing.  BEST!!!

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