Bully! I say!

Recently someone sent a f/b private message to me demanding an answer to why I had not contributed to his online campaign to raise money for his short film / foundation. They had put together a short film about bullying and were raising money and awareness.

Let me say I saw a blurb in his wall regarding this short and some other things, but he had not asked me for money and/or support before. Then I was impressed by how easily he wanted to goad (bully) ME into contributing.

I spent nearly every day of my high school life petrified of bullies. Catcalls were a common and nearly daily event Those "We are four, you are one. We WILL torture you." And so Ruffin and Aaron and their friends did. And on top of that, my racist parents had segregated me from blacks until high school; and so add another set of people I was afraid of. I limited in using the student bathroom 3 or 4 times in four years because of fear. I would sneak into the teachers bathroom maybe once a month. (No wonder I go a lot now. I'm making up for lost time.)

Once I came out, I adopted a "Oh hell no you won't" attitude which has served me well. But now sometimes when I smell weakness I can be a bully. This has come to me over the last few years.

I am very humorous and funny. It's a fact. I AM. But with that lightning sharp witted tongue can come a tendency to get my way. I often attribute it to my singleness. If not me, who? Or maybe it's the only child syndrome. Or maybe I am what I feared: A Bully.

I really never set out to hurt anyone. It's not my style. And I hope I don't. But this Bully in the China Shoppe does like his way. Bully. Control Freak. Dominator. Afraid. Some, all, none? So many questions.

So back to my f/b bully. I may contribute. I may not The jury is still out. But I can tell you my opinion: Enough Films short or long about bullying. GO. GO. Make A Difference in the life of a Child, Friend, Co-Worker who is being bullied. If not you,who?

Happy Easter

When I was a little boy Easter was always a "special" time to see people at church.  Usually, they were wearing a new "Frock" (another word that isn't used much these days).  If you were a girl you definitely had a new outfit to impress Jesus, maybe??  I mean, I didn't see Heidi Klum or Jessica Simpson judging, but maybe Jesus did.  However, was there judgment the other 51 weeks a year when Easter wasn't?  Weren't those weeks important too?  Twisted minds want to know...

But thruly it was truly a festive celebratory time.  Even though I was never a morning person as a child, I did enjoy Easter sunrise service.  We would get up way before sunrise, and drive to church for a service.  The sun would rise at some point during the service and slowly flood the santuary with natural lighting.  Maybe that's where I got my love for "Just So" lighting.  And since then I've learned that the SHADOWS can be equally as important as the LIGHT.  (Simply depends on the location!)
Often people came to Easter service that didn't come any other time of the year.  Unlike Catholics who are church-heavy at both Easter and Christmas, for the Free Will Baptists*, we were an Easter bunch.  So here we are so many days and years since I was a young one attending the FWB Easter service.  And...
Now I am the one wearing the Frock (see attached clip).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGbQOWKnAdc

This is a parody that I participated in last weekend.  We had such a blast!  Much more about this in the future.

Love!

*Free Will Baptists:  You have FREE WILL to go to HELL anytime, anywhere, just eff up once and you're in the express lane to see Lucifer!  (Unless you make a GOOD U-turn quickly!)

Short on the Short

I was so long winded (you ask what's new, ha ha) on the last post that this one will be much shorter on the Short. 

Our spoof of American Horror Story is titled "Cooks With Looks".  It's a partial parody plus an actual cooking show.  The recipe works perfectly.  So I will give you a few of pictures as hints of my upcoming character.  (See I am a character, not my scar!) 

Here is the first one.

Fortunately, there is a jacket to my "original" Jacques Pennoise.  Or else those flapping in the breeze bat wings would show up.

Me in the chair.  Fortunately it wasn't Electric...

aside:  Notice the two "Vanity" pictures of me in the hall.  Now I only have about 6 or 7 pictures of me displayed.  Before it was about 25 or 30.  I'm trying to minimize. 

Next up is my face sans scar

And next up is a picture that should have been included with the last blog post.  Maybe when I see Dr F to remove my scar, I can ask him to remove those CoAcH bags from under my eyes.  Fuck, even the beautiful most wrinkle....

The make-up man and one of the stars of the short (same person) is phenomenal.  So wait for the wig, lipstick and the jacket and you will see what Jessica Lange would look like if she didn't smoke, ate like a field hand and drank about the same. 

The short will drop before Easter, so I will be "Tooting" my own horn soon.  VERY Soon!!!

We finished about 70- 80% last night and will wrap tonight.  Wish us luck!

Vanity vs. Reality

When I was a little boy, my mom used to say "Don't Brag!  or Don't be Too Proud."  When simple phrases, with too many meanings are used with kids, parents must be able to determine which meaning they want and explain it.  This chapter my mom skipped.  Truly, given the circumstances that she was brought up in, I totally understand.  But when we kids become adults, we are saddled with the responsibility of choosing which of those childhood admonitions work for us and which to toss out.

See what my mom meant was not to be a braggart.  And I totally see her point.  No one wants to be around someone who is always measuring their dick and bragging.  (Well maybe occasionally, but not really.)  That person who RUNS the party, the office life, the que'd up line that never ever stops bragging about themselves, their possessions (including kids and animals).  Those who use their perceived successes to lord over others.  My little "Angel" is the best best best best best....  YUCK!

Unfortunately, what my mom accomplished was to influence me to allow myself to always be second.  Always holding the door for others to be ushered in.  I am proud to say that I do like to see others succeed, but not at my own expense.  Or at least not always.  So as I grew from a kid to an adult I had to learn that having a Healthy Ego was not the same as being a braggart.  In my un-humble opinion, the person who can't be proud of themselves and toot their own horn are often put themselves in second place.  Even when they win.

Now onto my favorite Capital Vice: Vanity.  I am vane.  At least in my own way.  See vanity affects each person differently.  For me it's my hair and face.  And I am not ashamed of my vanity.  I have some of the best hair on earth.  It's been fried within an inch of its life all to many times (blond, brown, black, black with raspberry rinse, back to blond, onto platinum, back to blond, but never red or any other non-naturally occurring color, and then most often back to blond.)  And within reason, it's almost always adapted.  It is getting a little thinner and a lot greyer, but "Damn it, it's still there!"  At three times in my life I tried to curl it.  And all with horrible consequences.  So now, I choose short, long, parted left, parted right, spiky....  But never curly.  Currently, it's mostly brown and gray.  (Yes I have spelled with both gray and grey.  I looked it up.  Both are correct.  ha ha)  Only time will tell where my hair ends up on the spectrum.

Now onto my face.  I truly am slightly, intensely obsessed with my own face.  After all, it seems to go with me everywhere I go.  And that is the part of my anatomy most people talk too.  (Except Mr Drapes, who talks to my left shoulder tirelessly.  What a weight.  The right shoulder is so jealous sometimes.)  I love my eyes, blue on the outer edges and green on the inner edges.  It is rare that I see photos of people's eyes that I think mine look like.  I once saw a picture of Jacqueline Bisset and thought we had similar looking eyes.  But it's rare  In nearly every photograph taken of me, only the blue shows up.  But I see something more.  I love my nose. And I love some of my chins.  One could go away for sure, but the other two I sorta like.

The only lasting visible scar from my biking boo-boo is a scar next to my right eye.  I am NOT happy with it.  I have tried lots of things and some days it looks as if it's slowly going away.  But I am not always a patient man.  Especially when it comes to my beauty.  And one friend even suggested it adds character.  Who the fuck wants character?  I AM a character, and a half some days!  So the scar will have to go away.  My non-insured bike boo-boo will end up costing me north of $7000 and as I told Mr Yellow Jacket, I don't want to spend another $7000, but that scar will go away.

As this post is getting long, I will end it with a picture of my scar and a link to a short film that got me to thinking and wanting to post all about the above.  I HIGHLY recommend a watch.  It's about 10 minutes and so beautifully shot.

Thanks for riding....

Pic above, link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgQIv2H_8lg&feature=share

XOXO