Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Back in LA

Oh boy was it so heavenly to sleep in my own bed for the past two nights.  As I've mentioned before, my bed is my sanctuary.  It's where I repair.

I have several blogs to post as soon as I'm finished editing them.  But be assured, I have missed my blogging.  I would never have thought that it would be so rewarding but it is.

Future topics:
Friend Carb-One (Frank)
Health and Hospitals
Racism at it's Purest
Marathon # 9 (Sung to Love Potion # 9, NOT)

Be well and back soon!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Wisdom of Grandmothers

The Words Of A Drunk Man
Are The Thoughts Of A Sober Man

Thursday, November 11, 2010


OK, so I'm a day late and this week a dollar short.  But alas, sing it Gloria:  "I Will Survive!!!"

Seasons have taught me so much in life.  The seemingly obvious things of New Birth in Spring, Flourishing Life in Summer, Changes in Autumn and Death or Hibernation in Winter.  So many different analogies can be attributed to the seasons, Seasons Come And Seasons Go, and the World turns, alot and then we've aged.  Ok fine, I do age.  Just, subtlely. 

In so many ways Winter has become a favorite season of mine.  It was Autumn in all of it's Splendor and colorful majesty, but in the last few years Winter is making a charge to be at the forefront of my favorites.  On a rare occassion, it's the lonely solitude of Winter that so appeals to me.  Mostly, however, it's the peaceful tranquility of stillness and near nothingness that excites me.  But that stillness and 'seeming' nothingness, will soon regenerate and 'spring' forth with new growth and rebirth.

But then the subject is Pruning.  Gardeners (Gardners if you're part of Mama's family) and Landscapers and Horticulturalists use the Winter time to Prune away those branches and stems and twigs that are dead or blocking progress in anticipation of what is to come.  I am not a person who makes alot of New Year's Resolutions, I am the person who uses that Winter time to prune away the dead or dying things or to move the roadblocks to my success and happiness.

While Winter time comes from Dec to March in the northern hemisphere, it can come anytime I need to prune.  I have several goals in this pruning process.  One and the most obvious is to rid myself of the things that block my anticipated new growth.  I want the dead leaves and branches to be cleaned away so the new growth will have room to take root and to sprout.  My other goal is gracefulness.  My object is not to tear away the dead, not to angrily chop or lob off the offensive, but to wait in quiet consolation and to contemplate what needs to be Pruned.  And then to remove it, bless it for its part in past usefulness and to be content with my choices.

All week I have thought of the title of a book "The Path Of Least Resistance."  I googled it and found it's written by Robert Fritz.  While I've never read the book, it's title has been stuck in my consciousness all week.  I will wager that I've read it by Christmas.  Obviously if I think of it repeatedly, it has something to say to me. 

But make no doubt about it, it is Pruning Time for Dannyboy and it will get done.  Winter is Today and each day I need to effect a Positive Change for myself.

Now where are those darned shears???

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


So today on Facebook I posted:

"Is there an online application for the Circus.  I'm seriously thinking of joining it.  At least I would work with REAL Clowns!"

At times in my life I've tried to wing it on my own.  I know that inside of me is that "Little Voice" of pure wisdom (God) that never leads me astray.  I listen intently and consult it often.  Back in the summer I got an opportunity to work on a new project.  The leader of that project was someone who had been 'spotty' at best in my past dealings with them.  But I decided to meet up and see where they were today.  I sought and implored my little voice often trying to determine if I should say Yes or say No.  Truthfully, the answer I heard was mixed.  The answer was a Yes with provisions.  And those provisions would mean I would have to keep vigilant and perhaps make difficult decisions in the future.  So I accepted the project with knowledge.  And now that I clearly see that "the circus tent was strung with every star in the sky...  Now the young world has turned old.  Gone are the tensile and gold!"  (God bless Lorenz Hart!  What grace and beauty encompassed his lyrics!)  So this Little BOY Blue will sit here and count my fingers, what else can I do?  (I'm counting fingers 'cause the freaking check bounced.  haha.  boo hoo)

So with the same Grace and Beauty that flowed so eloquently from the Master Lorenz Hart, I will pull the plug on THIS Circus and seek a new one.

I do believe in simplicity.  And lately I've felt I've been pulled, pushed and squeezed into too many situations that have spread me too thin.   So now my new task will be to pull back and trim.

Funny as I am about to hit the Publish button, the CLOWN appears on my phone.  But it doesn't change what I must do for myself.

My next post will be about pruning!  And I don't mean eating prunes either.  ;)

Monday, November 8, 2010

Morton Salt

The saying on the box of Morton's Salt says it all:  "When It Rains, It Pours."

Thankfully, the rain can be rains of blessings.  Not always, but I have hope for more days of blessings than not.

There seems to be a potential that a close relative might be developing a form of dementia.  While I'm not sure, it does seem that way to me and to a couple of others.  Time will tell, but one thing is for sure, I don't believe in sweeping something this important under the rug, or looking the other way to avoid potential pain.  Neither of those options will have a positive outcome.

This morning, I learned two things and neither of them made me happy.  My step-mom called to say my dad is in the  hospital with Pneumonia.  And this, two days before my step-mom is to have a much awaited surgery.  Not happy times.  Of course I want both of them well and healthy and happy, but it seems that one will have to wait for the other.  Unfortunately, the one waiting will suffer the longest.

The other news was that a check from client was returned.  And it wasn't a small check.  This could have the potential to make Dan an unhappy camper.  Especially since I held the check for 5 weeks to await funding. 

Like the salt from the box, today it's pouring.  And true to the salt analogy, it feels like "Salt In A Wound."

Now comes my part!  For as long as I've been blogging, I been extolling the virtues of being Kind to myself, to making Positive Decisions AND to Expect the BEST.  Truthfully, I can not change any of the above things.  "Stuff DOES Happen."  But how I DEAL with that Stuff will define ME.

Today, I look good (blue shirt to minimize the blood shot eyes (j/k)), Feel Good and I'm Optimistic (Cock-eyed and otherwise).  Just like my upcoming Half Marathon this coming Sunday, I expect to finish and finsh strong.  Today, I choose to be strong.  To handle what I can handle (with a blessing) and most assurely put a tremendous blessing on those things that I can NOT handle.  I've heard the phrase"Let Go and Let God."  Okay, I will and I do!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

So Why Are You Fat?

Isn't it funny how we adults seem to unlearn.  As babies, we cry when we're hungry or wet or feeling bad.  We don't cry when we look at the clock and see Mickey standing as if he's in a drug raid with both hands in the air and then scream I must eat now.  As babies we cried when we were wet; we didn't fabricate wet to get attention.  As babies we also didn't create continual drama so we could feel bad.  Notice babies seem to giggle, coo, throw their hands and feet into the air and they look at everything, new or old, with wonder and amazement.  When does this stop?  And why is it we seem to unlearn the simple things.

The other day, I was hanging with my favorite four year old who was jumping around like a mexican jumping bean in a box.  So in my childlike way, I decided I could too.  And I did.  So there we were a 4 year old and a nearing middle age man jumping around like 'dos primos locos" and having a ball.  When I, the nearing middle aged one, decided that I'd had enough, I said "whew that's enough for me, I'm fat."  To which my buddy said "So Why Are You Fat?"  And after I pinched off his elfing little head.... ha ha

Truly, the cool thing was there was NO Malice, NO Guilt, NO Judgment on his part.  Just one buddy wanting the other buddy to keep jumping.  And make no mistake about it, the Fat comment was simply a reflection of the "lame" excuse I had used.  And he instantly knew it was lame.  Kids, children, babies KNOW stuff.  Stuff that 'grown-ups" with knowledge and wisdom are supposed to know.  We only THINK it's hard to teach a nearing middle aged dog new tricks.  If we listened to our youth more often, we'd probably learn so much more.

So I pledge to look at stuff with amazement and wonder.  And to be completely loco and jump around if I want to.  And listen.  Really listen to Youth.  Maybe I will learn some more things that I might have forgotten.   Jump, jump!!!  (Saltar!)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Short Blog #2

Don't get your hopes up, I'm rarely short-winded, except in Down Dog.  ha ha

So after chatting with Frank the other day, I knew I should start a calorie counter on my daily meals.  Well, I had to clean my leg!  (Read what you may into it.)  Thank heavens when I fainted, I didn't hit my head on the table edge.

So TRUTH....  It really is the little things that can torpedo a diet.  To my shake this morning, I added one TEAspoon of peanut butter and 4 raspberries.  All in all, I consumed 324 calories.  I was soooo happy.  And as I was moving from one room to another I remembered I forgot to add the coffee and cream.  I'm out of 1/2 and 1/2 so I used Heavy Whipping Cream.  I do bake sometimes too.  And this HWC from Straus Family Creamery is so fab!  But HOLY Mother of Hannah Montana, those 3 cups of coffee and HWC added a whopping 312 EXTRA calories.  So I left Happy Land of 324 and arrived at Tortureville of 636.    Oh sweet Heavens!

Anyone want 3/4 of a pint of Organic Whipping Cream???  I will be out for the next 17 hours trying to walk it off.  (3 Tanqueray and Tonics wouldn't have been any worse.)  BTW, the HWC comes in a really cute glass bottle!

Pesky Little Thing Called "TRUTH"

to the tune of "Crazy Little Thing Called Love"

"The TRUTH shall set you free!"  Does it?  I think so.
"And Nothing but the TRUTH so help me God."  Wow.  Really??
TRUTH or Consequences.  Just a game show or a reality?

The TRUTH is one aspect of life that seemingly should be a constant.  Truthfully, I don't think does for everyone.  "It's always better to tell the TRUTH."  Yes it is!!

In Others and ME


Most of us work, and most of us out of necessity.  Bills like to be paid, dinner likes to arrive on the table, and new outfits surely NEED to be bought!  haha  So at work (as in all of life), we deal with TRUTH in it many varied forms.  If you 'compromise' your principles, bend the 'truth' or agree to go shady, it becomes expected.  I wonder how many times in my professional life I've 'looked the other way?'

There aren't going to be any Day of Judgement Confessions here, just some musings.  Yesterday, I was asked to LIE.  Of course, it was disguised nicely.  I was simply to shade the edges of the truth with little bits of color to add zest and sparkle.  But this time, I instantly saw that the simple request of shading would have long term expectations and consequences.  And NONE of those expectations or consequences would be for my Higher Good.  NONE of them.  What I was being asked to do was to choose a side, and accept their newly created version of the truth.  What had been conjured up in their mind ended up being a Witches' Brew of Deceit.  And I wasn't sacrificing my Third Eye of TRUTH for them or anyone else.  The two plus hours of arguing and wrangling about my saying NO was epic.

Funny (in a very sad way) how telling the TRUTH and refusing to BEND has become something that must be defended.  I was grilled, questioned, harangued and made to feel disloyal all because I refused  to EMBELLISH the Truth.  Jeepers, that's really screwed up!  But in the end, "tired and wet, cold you bet", I held my ground and chose the TRUTH.  It will raise it's ugly head again and sooner rather than later, I expect.  Oh don't delude yourself, it ain't over.  It's just beginning.  But I'm proud that by keeping true, I won't have any regrets in this situation.

When my parents were divorcing, both Mama and Daddy had emotions.  Understandable.  And their emotions were different.  Understandable yet again.  But those emotions pulled me in different directions.  Not fun.  A wonderfully fabulous waitress (some of my best advice has come from waitresses) told me:

"Honey, there's your Mama's Truth and there's your Daddy's Truth.  And they ain't always the same."

Oh how truth-filled that statement is.  So I look at the above situation and I realize that the only TRUTH that matters in my life is keeping my own TRUTH and steadfastly sticking to it.


When I started on my journey of transforming my life, I wanted to do some mirror work.  I may have mentioned it before, and if you really know me, I am quite vain.  Even at 100 + pounds of over-weight-ness, I was still vain.

But I decided with this journey, I wanted to SEE my TRUTH.  Not just in the small mirrors on the wall which showed my pretty face.  (And it is pretty damn it!!!)  But I also wanted to  see my waistline (or where one ought to be) and hips and back and legs and chest, and yes that "angelic" face.  (Don't make me get ruff with you!)  So just before I started my diet, I shaved off my facial hair.  I wanted to see the truth of the chins without any camouflage.  I wanted to see exactly what I looked like.  (However, I am so NOT interested in seeing the gray hair.  I still have an imagination.  I can imagine what that looks like.)

So I try each day to see the Real TRUTH of who and what I am.  And I thank you for taking this journey with me.  XO Peace and Truth!!

Thursday, November 4, 2010


Foul Mouthed Twisted Little Post Ahead

When I was in college, Tom (meat manager at the grocery store I worked at) had a big ole belly on him.  One day another co-worker was making fun of his gut.

Tom said, "It's a poor man how doesn't build a shelter over his tools?"  Well with that in mind, at 287.5 pounds three years ago, I had built a fucking condo tower over my tools.  And without a mirror, I had not way of seeing if my tools were still there or not.  They were surely buried in the damned basement.

So what stated on 9/20 (6 weeks and 3 days ago) has netted me 18 pounds lost and 39.75 inches lost too.  (This time I started at 277 pounds and am down to 259!!)

And the tools that I can now tell Tom about aren't the ones being excavated, but the ones I'm learning on a daily basis from Skinny Cyndee and Frank and Rick and Udana and so many others is that by putting "Good" Tools in my Toolbox (My Mind and Spirit), I have the instruments to build a FLAT PLAYGROUND above my tools for me and others to play on. 

Watch out!  New Player emerging!

Right On Time

Today’s bit of wisdom from Hay House’s “I Can 2010”:
Life always reveals what I need to know, exactly when I need to know it!
This is so true.  Hopefully, it doesn’t come with an “OH Sugar” moment, but even then it’s still a truism.  Yesterday, I had a long, long chat with a friend of mine whom I’ve known for 26 or 27 years.  Since I was 4?  Or was that 5?
He showed me how to arrive at my “At Rest Metabolic Rate”.  It was a real eye opener.  I’d always wondered how people who are wheelchair or bed bound aren’t gargantuan.  Not to say that some aren’t, but there are plenty of these folks who are still in-shape.  Now I know why.  So I learned that my RMR number is around 2100 – 2400 calories a day.  It was a great new life tool.  Some days I work at a desk for 8 – 12 hours in a day and by the time I get out of work, I don’t want to do anything but go home and put my feet up.  Yes my body craves exercise on these days (as it does EVERY single day of my life), but some days mentally I just want to be home and still.  So if that is my day, and I eat 3500 calories, I am going to gain weight.  Not MIGHT gain weight, I WILL gain weight.  It’s a scientific fact.  And it’s a fact that should be taught to every student way more than once.
On the other side of the coin, it gives me a tool to use to observe how my caloric intake can be better balanced against this Rate.  So if my At Rest Rate is 2200, then if I eat 1800 calories and have an active day and participate in exercise or yoga, I WILL lose weight.  (The size of this weight loss will be determined over a period of time.  Not just in one day.)  It’s a scientific fact.  (To break it down in Dan facts, if I BLEACH my hair, I know it’s a scientific fact it will be blond.)  So now that I know what my absolute ‘minimum’ is, if I stay well beyond that on the positive side, I will continue to lose weight.
Frank (friend from above) also discussed foods with me.  One of my favorite things is coffee in the morning.  Frank asked if I used skim milk and/or sugar.  The answer to both was no for me.  However, I do use Half & Half.  (Skim just doesn’t cut it for me!)  Frank encouraged me to look at the caloric count on my ½ & ½ container.  The serving size is 2 tablespoons.  Those ding in at 40 calories.  I have 2 or 3 cups a morning.  80 – 120 calories.  Then Frank asked if I used 2 tablespoons or free poured.  What do you think?  While I ain’t a-gonna give up ½ & ½, I will watch how much I use.
So now I have more things to think about as I take my journey.  And as I learned from Hay House, “It arrived exactly when you need it.”
Love and peace!!!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Gut Inspiration

I've often attributed my desire to please at all costs to many different things:  Being an only child, Being a Pisces, and on a rare occasion Being a doormat.   I do like to make other people happy.  And, unfortunately, sometimes I make or try to make others happy at the expense of denying myself happiness.

I respect those who say they will "X" and then follow through.   I try to be that person.  At times, I realize far in advance that "X" will be problematic, but I will agree to "X" and hope for the best.  I don't think this is for my highest good, but I haven't mastered the art of "NO".  I also haven't been able to clearly mark my own boundaries.  I working on both the Mastering and the Marking.  (Sounds like doggy training.)

This blog isn't about any one specific thing.  It's about a myriad of things that happen often, and how I deal with these things.  I had two things planned for this evening.  But what I want to do most of all is Yoga.  Fortunately, one of the two plans I have been able to successfully move to tomorrow.  The other thing WILL be shelved but exactly how I accomplish it, I don't currently know.  And that "shelving" will be done to make ME happy.  I hope it doesn't make another too unhappy, but today I feel I need to be the Happy One First.  (And as one of my friends knows, I've put off an early morning walk from this morning to Friday, so today must be about re-arranging for me.)

And again, fortunately, this "shelving" isn't life or death, it's simply a re-arrangement of my schedule.

The title of today's blog is Gut Inspiration.  It truly sums up where I am today.  My gut says re-arrange and postpone and seek inner happiness first.  And so I say YES to myself and "to heaven with the other plans".  And let me be very very specific, I am  BLESSING these shelved plans.  It's all for the GOOD!

Be good to yourself first.  (Here comes that air mask analogy again.  LOL)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Shortest Post Ever (By Me)

The Birds Are Tweeting
The Sun Is Up
Thank God The Coffee's
In My Favorite Cup.