So yesterday was such a great day. I went the dentist and he gave me a great bill of health and NO cavities, at least in the teeth region. After that I went shopping and had so much fun. Shop, shop, shop! And I bought WOOL socks. No more cold feet with these rain and cloudy days.
After shopping and such, I did Yoga. God bless Ruthie. You know her from other posts. Our studio ran a groupon online and then several hundred thousand people (or so it seemed) showed up to sign up. When I arrived there were at least 30 peeps there. At first I thought oy vey I will never get in, then I thought oy vey we will be packed up, then I thought I will go home because someone else might need the class more. And at last I thought I NEED THIS class. I am staying! And OH WHAT A CLASS.... It was everything I needed.
Yesterday I bought a pink blouse (I love calling it that. I am such an irreverent fag). Oh now I need to tell you everything. I felt good, and I looked good and I wanted to be bad! Yesterday I actually liked the way I looked and I would have gone home with ME. Usually, I am not my biggest fan, but yesterday I was my biggest fan!
I went out of my comfort zone to a birthday party at a bar I don't frequent and short story long, it wasn't my best. Oh I stood erect, with great posture and with a broad smile on my face. But after a couple of drinks and no sight of my "friends" who were supposed to be there, I left. I then went to a local watering hole I frequent. And I wasn't "On" there either. I went home....
Today I dragged myself up and met a friend for coffee and a bagel. Afterwards, I went for a DAN day without anyone. I need a day every now and again where I am simply just Dan without anyone or anything. And today was that day! I pissed and moaned to a friend of mine today telling him all about my yesterday. And just in the middle of my pissing that last night wasn't my best night out, it came to me what the issue really was:
I was HAPPY and PROUD of myself last night. I would have fucked me! And it seemed that I was the only one. And that made me unhappy. So at the end of the night, I would done me, yet no one else would have. That sucks, everyone but me. LOL
So today, I learned AGAIN that if I impress me, STOP!!!! That's it, no more, NO MORE. Don't fucking look outward for approval if you've already granted it inward. And inward is the only place that counts.