The title isn’t too much, is it? This time it’s important to get right to the point. I haven’t blogged in quite some time, and while I’ve been contemplating a return for quite a while, it was a series of comments on Fbk yesterday that got me steamed enough to blog.
While I wholeheartedly support Free Speech, I don’t support the need to comment on everything that one sees. Silence truly can be golden. To that end, I will share what steamed me. Items in quotes or italics are direct quotes:
Whether or not Mr. Cosby is guilty, not guilty or innocent isn’t for me to decide. In this instance, it’s a jury’s decision. Truthfully, outside of hoping for the correct justice, I don’t really care one way or another. And while it is newsworthy in some respects, I don’t feel the need to comment or speculate. But, this isn’t what incensed me. It was the following:
“Most of his accusers are fraudulent. Why did they wait so long?”
“There is something sketchy about the fact that those women waited so long to accuse him. I don’t know one way or the other but it seems off.”
“Because they wanted money.”
ONE person posted this:
“Not guilty” is not the same as “innocent.”
Unless you have been sexually assaulted, you really have no idea how long it should take. I know. I’ve been there. It took me more than 30 years to share any details at all. Each sexually abused survivor responds differently. And for us, it has different long-lasting effects.
I do know that not every accuser is truthful. And I do know that every situation is different. The players, the scene, the results are all very different. But what happened to feeling some sort of empathy for the victim? Yes, it the accusations are false, the damage can be nearly irreparable. But, truly the number of false accusations is quite small. And those falsehoods shouldn’t serve to discredit every accuser.
The shame, the guilt, the hatred (self or otherwise) is debilitating enough without ignorant comments by others. I do wonder if this had been the mother, sister, daughter, son or bestie of the people who felt the need to comment on the above story, would their comments have been different. For those of us who survive, we are really impacted by those comments. Sadly, we really do often worry what others think.
My dad used to say “Save something to tell Jesus.” If only more people took Dad’s advise!
This is a one of the Fractions of Dan.