Rape!

The title isn’t too much, is it?  This time it’s important to get right to the point.  I haven’t blogged in quite some time, and while I’ve been contemplating a return for quite a while, it was a series of comments on Fbk yesterday that got me steamed enough to blog.  

 

While I wholeheartedly support Free Speech, I don’t support the need to comment on everything that one sees.  Silence truly can be golden.  To that end, I will share what steamed me.  Items in quotes or italics are direct quotes:

 

‘COSBY INNOCENT’

Whether or not Mr. Cosby is guilty, not guilty or innocent isn’t for me to decide.  In this instance, it’s a jury’s decision.  Truthfully, outside of hoping for the correct justice, I don’t really care one way or another.  And while it is newsworthy in some respects, I don’t feel the need to comment or speculate.   But, this isn’t what incensed me.  It was the following:

 

“Most of his accusers are fraudulent.   Why did they wait so long?”

 

“There is something sketchy about the fact that those women waited so long to accuse him.  I don’t know one way or the other but it seems off.”

 

“Because they wanted money.”

 

ONE person posted this:

“Not guilty” is not the same as “innocent.”  

 

Unless you have been sexually assaulted, you really have no idea how long it should take.  I know.  I’ve been there.  It took me more than 30 years to share any details at all.  Each sexually abused survivor responds differently.  And for us, it has different long-lasting effects.

 

I do know that not every accuser is truthful.  And I do know that every situation is different.  The players, the scene, the results are all very different.  But what happened to feeling some sort of empathy for the victim?  Yes, it the accusations are false, the damage can be nearly irreparable.  But, truly the number of false accusations is quite small.  And those falsehoods shouldn’t serve to discredit every accuser.  

 

The shame, the guilt, the hatred (self or otherwise) is debilitating enough without ignorant comments by others.  I do wonder if this had been the mother, sister, daughter, son or bestie of the people who felt the need to comment on the above story, would their comments have been different.  For those of us who survive, we are really impacted by those comments.  Sadly, we really do often worry what others think. 

 

My dad used to say “Save something to tell Jesus.”  If only more people took Dad’s advise!

 

This is a one of the Fractions of Dan.  

On the Road to 53!

lol  I started this blog as my journey to 50.  That milestone has past and thankfully I can still blog.  Not that I have done so in a long, long time, but the ability is still there.  So this week, I will resume blogging and hope that the results are fun for me and you too.


Best!

Dan

Oh my....

so I've been away from Blogging for two years.  Perhaps I didn't have anything to say, perhaps I was lazy, perhaps I was chasing something else, perhaps all of the above and more.

So I'm reacquainting myself with the remembrance of how blessed I am.  I can run and jump and hide from the truth, or look the other way, but in fact:  I AM BLESSED.  And I am thankful.

More soon. 

XOXO

SHORT

So I promised that this one would be funny or at least light hearted.  Today on Facebook, a "recommended friend" was

Bud Cockerham

And I thought, it depends on how hungry I am.

XO

RANTING on the Road to Fifty

It's a FUCKING Chicken sandwich. 

I grew up with Chick-fil-a (CFA).  I also grew up mighty religious.  And these religious views were preached over and over to us.  Let me give you some examples:

BLACKS were an inferior race.  They were struck black either at the Tower of Babel or were descendants of Cain. 
Jews - Going to Hell
Catholics - Going to Hell
Most everyone outside of the Free Will Baptist religion were going to Hell.  According to the FBW church if just before dying in a head on car collision, you said "Oh Fuck Me!" you were going to Hell.  You must be forgiven by Christ or no heaven for you.  It was almost as bad as no chicken on Sunday.

We never cared whether CFA was open on Sunday, we were either at the steakhouse or at the Holiday Inn for the buffet lunch.  And trust me the H.I. was fierce and was overseen by a big woman who was such a delight: Mrs Kathleen Oringer.  (BTW, a Catholic, but it didn't matter, she was handing the food people.)

So of late, all of this bruhaha about CFA has been quite troubling to me.  So let me tell you my thoughts:

The more some of us move towards equality and peace of mind, the more some will rebel against it.  I have seen some people post some things that have shocked me.  "He is worried Gays will marry?"  "She supports US?"  They said what?  Oh heaven help us.  Some people who I never thought would be one way or the other have surprised me.  Some nice surprises and some not so nice surprises.  I have mostly stayed out of the fray for a few reasons:

1.  I don't want to spend time on negative shit that I can't fix
2.  I'd rather influence quietly rather than beat someone over the head

And here is some reasons why I think that Gay people are behind in this country.  We have allowed ourselves to become second class citizens.  The Ultra-Rich queers don't really care.  They write a check.  Why is Ellen not all over this?  Because of sponsors.  And she wants to be picked up for some more seasons.  I don't know that I am mad at her, but I do see it.  (See I have apathy!)

And then there are the "gay supporters".  I dislike Kathy Griffin.  And let me rant why.  She is all for "her gays" yet she couldn't stop talking about Clay Gaiken.  Or Gay Aiken.  Or whatever she kept calling Clay Aiken.  Funny that she could go on and on about him and no one stood up and said enough.  Maybe he just wanted to build his career like Ellen wants to build hers. 

Or what I consider the opposite:  Ricky Martin.  No queer thought he was straight, but until he semi-retired, he wasn't talking.  If you don't want to come out, don't.  But please don't ask me to love your Vida Loco once you do.  (OH RM didn't necessarily want me to like him, but almost every gay publication did.)  Until WE stop accepting one group making fun of ANY of us and demand our equal rights, we will remain in second class.

I for one will not be at CFA tomorrow for the kiss-in.  But if I wanted to I would. 

Let me be clear:

I AM NOT AFRAID OF ANYONE.  Accept me or don't, I can not be bothered to worry about your opinion.  And for me, I won't delete F/B friends (or any other social site) who don't like Fags.  I want to see my opposition.  And for me, I will convert a few to my side.  It will just be slowly and quietly.

RANT over!
XO
(I promise to make the next post funny.)

Sixth Road to Fifty

It seems like I might have gone "Off Road" but not really. 

After returning from Hawaii I've been busy with work.  Last weekend I went to the "Land of Sister Wives" for my 18th Half marathon.  The first 7.5 miles were truly downhill.  We had a time limit to get out of the park and we made.  We meaning me and the others in the Back of the Pack warrior group.  We made it out at an average pace of nearly 16 minutes a mile.  That's slow compared to the majority of runners, but for me, I usually average 20 minutes per mile, this was a GREAT accomplishment.  The next 5.5 miles were at a considerably slower pace dragging my overall time down, but still I finished ahead of my usual time, so I was very happy.

To say that Utah is clean might be an understatement.  Salt Lake City is the cleanest metropolitan city I have ever been in.  And while I do generally poke fun at everyone, these Mormons scared me a little.  They are a little too clean and bright and sunny and fucking happy.  I don't think it's natural without drugs.  The water did taste a little funny.  I hope it's drugs and not that I'm going to turn up pregnant.  They do seem a fertile group.  VERY fertile.  To hear people casually mention "her and her five kids"  blah blah blah and not "oh shit, she's got Five, count 'em FIVE kids" seems a little unique to me.  OK, it seems fucked up, not unique.  But who am I to say, if someone is Happy, I do think that's an accomplishment.  It just seemed a little dirty or repressed to me.  But I drink....

So let's see where the next Half marathon takes me.  BTW, I have done 18 (I said so above, haha).  I have done one in 10 states with California making up all of the others and representing the 11th state.

Rant coming soon!

XOXO

Road to Fifty - Part 5

It seems that as time rolls along, the world does still RE-volve.  And we inhabitants E-volve. 

I did have such a great time in Hawaii.  It had so many highs and none involved herbs.  haha.  It seemed funny that a place so associated with pot seemed so removed from pot.  No Maui Wowi smells the entire trip.  However, when I returned to LA, there was more Maui than in all of Hawaii.  haha.  Times do e-volve.

Years ago I heard that the brighter the Light becomes the more intense the Darkness becomes.  How many times have we walked into a dark room from outside in the bright sunshine and become temporarily blinded by the change.  Thankfully, so many people in my life are embracing Light and goodness and fun and frivolity....  I am goofy and funny and fun-loving and I try to surround myself with others with the same outlook.  Oh, if you know me, you know I can bitch about that grain of sand in my shoe or the rock on the beautiful beach that I stub my toe on.  It's not that hard.  And even though it's not a part of my nature that I like so much, I do need to "vent" or "get it out of my system" somedays.  How else will I be able to ascertain if I'm all the way nuts or just skirting the issue of nutdom?  So somedays my chums get to hear about my presumed trials and tribulations.  But for the most part, I do really try to be positive.  And again, so many of friends are the same.

Lately I've noticed that the "Dark" seems to be intesifying in some.  I see people do and say things that I thought were completely off limtes.  I see some drive like maniacs with absolutely no regard to others safety.  I've had to make a conscious decision lately to just hang back and let them do it their way; and, I maintain a distance to keep myself safe and sound.

When Solomon prayed for Wisdom, God gave him trials.  I think that example in the Bible so relates to everyday life and love.  And since I'm a wee bit chicken, I pray for Half Wisdom so I will only get half the trials. 

Peace and Love!